Hi, I'm such an asshole.
Tuesday, February 18 @ 22:31
This is as worse as it can get. I'm so fucking dehydrated having to let out tears countless times in a day. And I just realised that I could make someone hurt as much as people can hurt me. It's just so terrible how I can love you so much and yet hurt you at the same time. A mere thought of making things clear turns to a dust of self-hate and discrimination. Why would I do that? Why didn't I think that I could hurt you even by the smallest thing that prolly be the easiest to avoid. You saying how much it breaks your heart just shattered mine into tiny small pieces that evaporated to the air. I wouldn't even dare to hurt you, what more break your heart. I've never felt like a useless prick all my life towards someone I love so dearly. Until today. What an ass I can be. What an ass am I to do that to you without giving a thorough thought. What an asshole. I feel super terrible that I cannot even think straight and the replies you gave are so vague that it's hard to think that you have forgave me for my mistake. Is this karma for my past selfishness? I fucking can't think straight and I fucking need a slap on the face and say, yes I'm never gonna be good enough. Ever.
